What is a time out?
When your child is doing something that is unacceptable, time-out helps stop it and change the situation. Time-out sends him away from the trouble spot, and into an isolated area such as a room, chair, quiet corner, hallway, crib, or playpen. It's best used with children aged 2 to 12 years.

How should you do time out?  

• Do not give endless warnings and empty threats.
• Do not shout.
• Time-out should occur in a noninteresting yet safe place. Your child should not be allowed to watch television or to interact with other people when in time-out – including you.
• Send your child to the time-out chair or room. If he doesn't go there immediately, lead him by the hand or carry him.
• When you're putting your child in time-out, briefly explain what she has done so she can connect the behaviour with the time-out. A simple phrase such as “No hitting” is enough. Do not lecture and do not spank. Time-out is not the time for teaching or preaching.
• Do not negotiate with a child in time-out. Completely ignore him, even if he shouts, bangs or apologizes.
• When time-out is over, it is over. Create a fresh start by offering a new activity. Don’t discuss the unwanted behaviour, just move on.

How long should time-out last?
Time-out should last 1 minute for each year of your child's age. It should not last for more than 5 minutes.

You can use a kitchen timer. Make sure you put it where your child can see and hear it.

What about other children?
If your other children touch the timer, or tease their brother or sister in time-out, they should be also placed in time-out.

How does time-out end?
Make it clear that you are in control of when time-out ends. Go to your child's corner and say, "Time-out is over. You can get up now." Clear the air. When time-out is over, it's over. Reminders or lectures after time-out may lead to the same misbehaviour. It's better to comfort your child.

If your child repeats the behaviour that led to the time-out in the first place, repeat the whole process. If used properly, time-out will eventually work.

Remember, your child should know that time-out is directed toward the misbehaviour not him. It's important not to hurt your child's self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust, or feelings of abandonment.

For more information:
Guiding your child with positive discipline
When your child misbehaves: Tips for positive discipline  
 

Recommended video:
1-2-3 Magic: Training your children to do what you want (120 min.). Ask your family resource library, call1-800-442-4453, or visit www.thomasphelan.com. 

Developed by the Canadian Paediatric Society Psychosocial Paediatrics Committee

Updated: November 2003