Adolescence is a time when youth explore their relationships with peers, both as friends and potential romantic or sexual partners. Despite the excitement, flirting, dating and sexual experimentation can cause stress for young people. It can be more challenging when a young person is attracted to people of the same sex.

What is sexual orientation?
A person’s sexual orientation defines who they are physically and emotionally attracted to – that is, to people of the same or opposite sex. Youth have a sexual orientation even if they are not yet sexually active.

Although there are many possibilities between being totally heterosexual and totally homosexual, people are usually grouped in 1 of 3 ways:

How will I know if my teen is gay?
The process of declaring a homosexual identity is often called ‘coming out’. It can start:

These feelings can cause uncertainty for a young person and could be made worse by:

It can be very difficult for teens to decide to tell their parents about their homosexual identity. They may hate the idea that they are ‘lying’ by not telling their parents, but they also worry about how their parents will react.

Sometimes parents suspect that their teen is gay. However, sometimes what you think to be true is not. Wait until your teen is ready to talk. Some teens are not ready to announce their sexuality until they are adults. If there is a homosexual theme in a comic strip or on a TV show, you can have a discussion about that, hopefully finding a way to let your son or daughter know that they are loved no matter what their orientation.

Some teens will tell a sibling or cousin before they tell a parent, and often they will choose one parent to tell first.

Parents sometimes bring their teen to the doctor wanting a ‘diagnosis’. They can’t believe what their teen is telling them. There is no blood test or other for sure way of telling if someone is gay.

Are there any health issues with being homosexual?
Just being gay does not have any health risks. However, the reality of being gay in our society means that gay teens are at a higher risk of depression and suicide. Anyone, gay or straight, who has unprotected anal sex, has a high risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Although lesbian teens are less likely to get STIs than heterosexual teens, they may have sex with males (for many reasons), which increases their risk.

• All sexually active teens, gay or straight, should be routinely tested for STIs.
• Girls between 9 and 13 years of age should get the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine. To work the best, the vaccine needs to be given before any sexual activity starts.
• All girls who are heterosexually active or who have shared sex toys with someone who has sex with males should have a Pap test (a test where cells are collected from your cervix and then examined through a microscope to make sure they are normal and healthy) 2 to 3 years after initiating sex to check for cervical cancer. A sexually active lesbian who has not done these things should still have a Pap test done in her early 20s.
• Safer sex practices, such as using a condom, will help reduce the risk of other infections. Encourage your teen to discuss all safer sex options with a health care provider. 

How can I help my teen feel more comfortable talking about sexuality?

Where can I get support?

For more information