When it comes to toilet learning, each child is different. While some are ready to start as early as 18 months, most will start between the ages of 2 and 4 years. You’ll learn to follow your child’s cues through each step of the process. Be patient, though, because it will usually take between 3 and 6 months before your child is out of diapers for good.

How do I know when my child is ready?

Your child is probably ready for toilet learning when he:

• Shows an interest in the potty (watches you, likes books about the potty).
• Can walk to the potty (or adapted toilet seat).
• Is steady and balanced when sitting on the potty.
• Can stay dry in diapers for several hours in a row.
• Has regular and predictable bowel movements.
• Can follow one or two simple instructions.
• Can let you know when he needs to use the potty.
• Wants to please you.
• Wants to be independent.

How do I help my child learn to use the toilet?

Plan

• Toilet learning doesn’t happen overnight. Make sure that you have enough time to patiently help your child every day. It can take several months, so watch for signs that she is ready to move from one step to the next.
• Dress your child in clothes she can pull up and down easily.
• Decide which words you are going to use to refer to body fluids, functions and body parts. It’s best to be direct about toilet learning. Using the right words can help avoid confusion or embarrassment. Try not to use negative words like “dirty” or “stinky,” which can make your child feel self-conscious.
• Let your child watch you use the toilet.
• Let your child pretend to help a favorite doll or stuffed animal use the toilet.
• If other people care for your child, talk to them about your plans for toilet learning. It’s important that all caregivers are consistent.
• Your child will be more secure and stable on a potty chair – so that his feet can touch the floor – than on a regular toilet. If you don’t use a potty, you’ll need a toilet seat adapter and a footstool.
• Put the potty in a place that your child can get to easily. Consider putting one on each level of your house if you have more than one storey, or more than one bathroom.
• Always go with your child to the bathroom and ensure it is child-proofed (cleaners and medicines are locked up).

Practice

• When your child is ready, help him get used to the potty. Let him sit on the potty while he is fully dressed, then encourage him to sit on it for a few minutes without wearing a diaper. You may even want to put the dirty diaper in the potty to show him what it’s used for.
• Develop a routine by having your child sit on the potty at specific times during the day, such as after getting up in the morning, after meals or snacks, before naps and before bedtime.
• Watch for signs that let you know he needs to use the toilet. Encourage your child to tell you when he needs to pee. Be sure to praise him, even if he tells you after the fact.
• Boys usually learn to pee sitting down first. This is okay. They can learn to stand up later.
• Reading while sitting on the potty may help your child to relax.
• Show your child how to wipe properly. Girls should wipe from front to back. Most will need you to wipe for them, especially after bowel movements, until preschool age.
• Teach your child to wash his hands after using the toilet.
• When your child has used the potty successfully for at least a week, suggest that he try cotton underpants or training pants. When he is ready, make this a special moment.

Praise and be patient

• Praise your child often. Be patient and cheerful. Rewards are not necessary.
• Expect accidents – they will happen! Be sure not to punish or overreact. Always have a change of clothes on hand.

What if toilet learning doesn’t work?

If the first try at toilet learning doesn’t work, it might be because your child isn’t ready. Don’t be disappointed or upset. You can’t rush your child into using the toilet. If your child refuses to use the potty, take a break from the training for about 1 to 3 months.

Your child may not want to pass a stool in a potty or the toilet, especially if she doesn’t have good support for her feet. Let her have bowel movements in a diaper so she doesn’t get constipated. Constipation can cause bowel movements to be painful. If it hurts, it’s likely to take even longer to learn to use the toilet.

Sometimes a child who has been using the potty consistently will regress, and start to have accidents. This can be caused by a period of stress, like a new baby or a recent move. If this is the case, it is okay to go back to using the diaper. Watch for the signs that your child is ready to try again.

Nighttime toilet learning

• Even though your child may be clean and dry all day, it could take several more months or years for her to stay dry during naps or all night.
• Your child can continue to wear a diaper but encourage her to use the potty if she has to in the night. Let her know that it is okay to call you for help.
• When she has stayed dry for several nights in a row you might want to try cotton underpants or training pants. A plastic sheet under the bed sheet will help to protect the mattress.
• If this doesn’t work out, put her back in a diaper or training pant and try again in a few weeks.

Talk to your doctor if your child:

• Still refuses after several tries.
• Is older than 4 years of age.
• Was toilet trained for a good length of time (months) and now appears to be regressing.
• Is withholding stool, experiences pain when using the potty or has blood in the stool.
• Develops redness or rash around the vagina, foul smelling or cloudy urine, or suddenly seems to need to go more frequently or urgently.

More information from the CPS:

• Healthy bowel habits
• Toilet learning: Anticipatory guidance with a child-oriented approach, a statement of the Canadian Paediatric Society

Reviewed by the following CPS Committees:
Community Paediatrics Committee

Last updated: February 2008